I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
There r osticjed everywhere
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
