you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
