i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
