Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
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