there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
