After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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