If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
