I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
