wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
