Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
