it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
