I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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