He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
