I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
