So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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