i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
