He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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