it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
