ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
