Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Found your dick twin last night
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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