She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
