I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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