i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
