Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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