If i come over, it means nothing
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
