if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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