she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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