I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
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