FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
