can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
tell me about the eggs
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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