Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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