he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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