Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
