I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
There was a lot of him and a little penis
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
