Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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