actually, I'm a sock model
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
