It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
