so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
