come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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