so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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