covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
