Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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