how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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