How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
