It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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