I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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