We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
