the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
