haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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