Sponge bath it is.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize