I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
