But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
