it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
