ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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