lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
