i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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