you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
