I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
