I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
